Life Journey: The Transformation

So I have always been a big girl, I have never been a size 2. Not that I want to be a size 2, but I would like to be normal, healthy, and active. I am a yo-yo dieter, I am a person that gives up, that starts something and never finishes. Well I used to be that way...but now I want more. Over the last couple of years, I finally learned the feeling of accomplishment. I went back to school and I got my Bachelors degree, and I am now working on my Masters. Something that my family never thought they would see from me. I even want to go to law school when I finish my Masters....go figure. I have committed, and I want it so bad. Now I am back on the yo-yo trip. But this time I want it to be different. Recently I read Chris Powell's book "Choose to Lose More For Life." And can I just say that it has really brought some things into perspective for me. I want this-I want to change, I want to be better. Growing up my family ate, and we ate a lot. My dad was a big guy, and when my grandparents, and my aunt and uncle were around- we ate. And we never sat around eating healthy stuff, pizza, pasta, and junk....and that is what I knew. But at the same time that this was going on, my dad would make comments to me that I was too big, or fat, and he would make fun of me for eating- when he was the one that taught me those habits. On top of that we never had a lot of money. And today- still the same problems go on. We don't eat great, I cook, but cooking healthy for a family, and trying to go to school, and work, and taking care of the kids and the house....not easy. But after reading Chris's book- I decided that this is not the life I want to lead, this is not the life I want for my family. I want more! I don't want to miss out on life, on my family...so I am going to do it! I have decided that my transformation starts now (well actually it started July 1st, 2013), but the time is now. Time for change, time for commitment, time for a better me! I know I can- I just have to find my way. And that road to discovery is now. I CAN DO IT, I BELIEVE IN ME, I WANT THIS, I GOT THIS! July 1, 2014- me 115 pounds lighter! Here we go!

Today's Journey: Picking my Battles

Today was just an ordinary day. Got up, did some running around, and then we decided to make the 45 minute trek down to visit my mom and step-dad (mainly because my Aunt was there visiting). What started off as good, quickly turned into animosity and irritation! Now don't get it twisted, I love my mother. But she gets under my skin, as I am sure Lot of mothers do. My 18 month old son has never been swimming, or in a pool for that matter, so today was the big "first time" in the pool. Yes, I have another child, an I have been through this before, but for my other half, it was important that we both be there, and we both go through my 18month olds fist time together. As we were getting ready to hit the water, I remind my mom to not get him in the water until we get out there. So I get some smart ass comment back like "I know what I am doing, he wants to get in." Then from behind her comes the smart ass comment from her husband- "oh he's fine, we can get him in the pool." I was furious, to say the least. So I changed, and as I was ready to go out my mom came back in the house for something and I unleashed! I just wanted her to understand how this was an important first for us as parents, and I wanted her to respect that. We be termed back and forth her point that I treat he like she doesn't know what she is doing with my kids (which I obviously do- I mean I came out alright:)) and my point that I want to be respected as a parent, as an adult who knows what I am doing and what I want for my kids. We got not where- the conversation/argument ended with the "whatever's" and we want on about our afternoon. It was a waste of time- I should have thought out my words and my thoughts more before starting a battle. Point in case- pick your battles, and make sure that what you are fixing to battle about with someone is worth it! The other part of that- is make sure that if you plan on battling or challenging someone that the person you are up against is someone that you are not going to permanently scar the relationship, because sometimes in a battle/argument the words start falling out of your mouth, uncontrollably, and those are usually the ones that cut the lowest, and hurt the worst. I was careful with my words today, but that might have just been luck on my side....